HOW TO DEAL WITH A QUARTER LIFE MALAISE

Deliberately dreading and avoiding the moment of truth, I knew my desire to be a fashion stylist had come to an end when I read, then reread an email from my client’s manager to, “kindly pass over all the contacts you’ve accumulated over the months willing to dress and work with her in the future,”also known as- My Blackbook. I couldn’t comprehend a woman that held herself in such high regard and was brutally successful, behaving like such an unapologetic amateur.
No longer thriving off the obstacles that once fuelled me and facing self defeating patterns of egotism & narcissism, the fight in me to continue this way of life was over. I knew my skill was too good to be unpaid but this was the golden bullet point in fashion- there were plenty more aspiring stars who were more than happy to have their skills exploited for free in the name of the media attention.The truth is, deep down it did hurt, and was still burdening me up until a couple months ago but I  was more concerned with what path I’d fight my way down next. I spent six years working towards being known as a Stylist and have my work spoken about in the press. I have nothing but gratitude for my first two clients and the glimpse into the industry they gave me that no longer serves me.

 

“Hi, I’m Adriana… I don’t know but I’ve still got an impressive cv…”

The transition of knowing exactly why you get out of bed each morning to no clue at all is hard to fathom for any person, particularly an ambitious one. There’s a significant pride behind telling someone who you are, what you do and what your goals are next. Our personal pitch is a marker for our success.One of my closest girlfriends was an International Model Agent, with an initiative and passion that is scarce these days in the industry. When her boss revoked her visa and she was left with no other option but to go back to New York City, she cried, “What will I tell people I do now? I can’t find a job as an agent, it’s a small world, there’s nothing out there. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

What could I say? The empathy was there but the answers weren’t and we were both the type of women who fearlessly chased ridiculously big dreams. What big dream could outdo conquering The Fashion Industry at such a young age?

The Courage To Let Go
When you hold onto your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny.

What’s not meant to be, you must be courageous enough to let go of. Although fashion styling was no longer my thing, I was fortunate enough to score a Fashion Editor role months later for Latte Life in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs, giving my writing a whole new platform and my voice a wider audience. I had a fantastic Editor who nurtured my skills into the right direction and believed in me altruistically. Sadly, with each deadline I realised this role was no longer suited for me and I had to let it go, giving another aspiring writer the chance to accelerate toward their dreams.We know within us what is right for us and what isn’t but we often are too afraid to let go. When a door is closing in, it is for good reason and often signifies another opportunity arising in the horizon. Something better is seeking your attention and you’ll never notice it if you’re preoccupied where the universe doesn’t want you to be anymore. One lesson I learned over the past three years was to be unselfish enough to let things go when they were no longer aligned with my heart and mind. This includes friendships also.

Surrender to Living in Limbo Land It’s only for now, not forever.

For two years in Sydney I worked, I wondered in my bedroom and drank plenty of wine. It was torture. Limbo land is no fun at all. Living for the sake of living is depressing but if you’re anything like me, you must trust that when the time is right, your answers and next direction will show up when you least expect. I always knew my heart never belonged in Australia and it was only time before I’d make my way over back to Europe, exactly where I’d live, I wasn’t sure but I knew London was always an option. London always brought me back to life, no matter how often I dissed it.Limbo land has a deadline you’re unaware of and before you know it, opportunities present themselves as risk is always rewarded.  I was fortunate enough to be poached from this blog to help build The Sybarite brand earlier this year but I wasn’t ready to settle in London, nor did I want to settle anywhere so soon in my new journey. The Sybarite currently has my undivided attention and arrived in my inbox on an unsuspecting Sunday afternoon.

My Advice: Travel

One of the  best ways to defeat a quarter-life malaise, without a psychologist, is to travel. Forget everything you’ve ever known or thought you wanted and leave it all behind. The duration of this journey is personal and you’ll know when and where it ends but nothing is more comforting than being too busy to look back. Travelling enables you to be distracted of who you once were and work on who you are in the present moment. Living out of your comfort zone and opening up to new people, cultures and experiences enriches the soul and matures the heart. I have met so many people that have worked out their vocation on foreign land while combating living in limbo. Remember, risk is always rewarded. A sacrifice must always be made in order to move forward. Sacrifices are only successful when fought with great optimism, self belief and trust.

AKx 

 

Have you been through a quarter life crisis?

What steps did you take to work out your new path?

Leave your comments below

 

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