Would you believe me if I told you that this picture took me about 30 attempts, adjusted angles, puzzled onlookers & a sun that wasn’t going to stop setting because ‘I couldn’t get my hands right’? ? Well, that’s the whole hearted truth. It’s still not perfect and most of me doesn’t care. ??
You’ll notice lately-
I’ve derived my attention more on vlogging, something I claimed was my greatest fear earlier this year. In most of these vlogs my makeup isn’t done, my hair looks horrendous and my uniform fake tan/blonde extensions look is nowhere to be seen. ??? Why? Because I needed to get over the thought of what I should look like in order to get my content out. ? I needed to get over the idea that I needed to look a certain way to have the confidence to be nothing less than myself on camera. ? My fear of how I’ll appear was an extension of excuses that neither my goals or my path gave two fucks about. If I wanted to move forward, I needed to start showcasing my personality in a way that was basically on trend with the way social media was moving.
Let me tell you something right now…
I have one regret. That one regret is not starting a YouTube channel earlier. I knew three years ago that I should have started but I let my self doubt and negative dialogue within myself creep into my reality and dictate what I should and shouldn’t be doing. In those 3 I did manage to study the craft of YouTube and understand how to attract attention, build a following and also gain the confidence to be myself. In the end, authenticity always wins and I saw this among many of my favourite YouTubers.
In the past month while uploading frequently, I’ve not only started to build a following (predominately males, which is fine this also helps with my content creation), I’ve tested the lengths of a video and which gain the longest watch time, the types of titles of videos and what gets the most clicks, if click bait really does work (Hello Topless in Plitvice Vlog), the type of content in itself (vlog, challenges, micro video content). That’s why lately there’s been a mixture of videos, I’m still testing the waters. So far, vlogs are winning and secretly, it’s something I always knew would.
My life is a contrast of some dark and also many colourful times
and my greatest joy has been able to showcase my life to a world that is not always as blessed, fortunate and privileged as mine. ??? Getting over my fears and insecurities was a start but I believe they never should have been factored into the reality that I wanted to create for myself. Should I swear? Should I not? Should I talk about sex? Should I talk about my past? Should I show off my candid personality? Will people understand my sarcasm? Who cares.
The right people will find you.
I have enjoyed creating a new way of communicating with those who have been following my journey for many years now and introducing all my new followers to a world I call my own. And literally, I’ve barely begun.
I hope these words find you & remind you that many of your worries don’t actually matter. ? Sometimes it’s the one thing you believe that you shouldn’t be doing, that lights up the world around you.
? Never give up. ?
There isn’t a single sunset in the world that will wait for you to get it right.
Do it anyway.0